Miss Chera

Friday, January 27, 2006

Family problems (venting)

My FIL has been fighting the big "c" for almost a year. During the last year, he has had problems tolerating the chemo, sickness, tumors not shrinking, hearing what he wants to hear, etc. Well, the dr. he is seeing has a PA which my FIL hears only what he wants to hear. The PA last week told him the tumor is inactive - my FIL heard he is in remission and the tumor has gone away. He was so excited, and wrote a letter to the Pope. Well, he went back on Friday to check more test results, and the dr. saw him. She corrected him that he was not in remission, and told him he would be fighting cancer for the rest of his life. The wind left his sails, and he is back to feeling ugh again.

There is a little background info that you should know about my relationship with my inlaws. Simply, they dislike me with all their being. Never in my life have I know anyone who hates me as much as they do. I know, I know...I have lived a very sheltered life to not have someone dislike me, but they have not liked me since Mr. Chera & I started dating. And, I truly believe they think Mr. Chera married down. I have not done one thing to set this relationship in a downward spiral...it just the simple fact that they dislike me and will never try to establish a relationship with me...no matter how hard I try to get a relationship started with them.

We have plenty of good times to look back at too (insert sarcastic laugh here)...After Lil Darling was born, my MIL & I did not speak to one another for 10 months over a christening dress & after she screamed so loud at me on the phone that I hung up on her and had to buy a new phone 'cause she screamed so loud the speaker quit working! During this time of no speaking, I did not go to visit them, but did not hinder Mr. Chera and Lil Darling from going to visit. I wanted Lil Darling to know her grandparents. My FIL videotaped every visit, and other relatives visits with them. When we started speaking again, they shared the videotape with Mr. Chera & I by sending it home with us. One night I was watching the tape with my parents, and heard my MIL call me a B**** when talking with Mr. Chera's aunt & uncle. I was devastated, and did not tell Mr. Chera for two weeks about it. When Lil Darling had surgery to remove a tumor when she was 12 months old, they did not come to the hospital - they had more important things to do like go to the casinos in Louisiana. When Lil Darling has any special program or recital, they can not attend because they would have to drive in the dark, rain, etc. I am not usually a fighter, but both MIL & FIL have pushed me to fight with them & at times, sink to their level. So now, since the big "c" has come to visit my FIL, I have tried so hard to be supportive for my FIL & MIL, and let the past go. Although now, I have grown so tired of hearing about how crappy their lives are. I am so desensitized to their problems, and I hate this. I have always been and tried to be the caring person, but I find myself pushing myself away from them which puts Mr. Chera in a bad position once again. I am just venting about this relationship. I will continue to care, but I think I will need a break from all of this soon!!! :O)


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